Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
