My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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