Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize