So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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