Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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