dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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