Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
