seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
