hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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