is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
