I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
