tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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