Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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