So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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