Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
