omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my being single is dangerous.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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