forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
