no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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