By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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