triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
