You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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