apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
