miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
