3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
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She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
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Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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