I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So much Jack, so little girl.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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