so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
