I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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