the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
