Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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