The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
