So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
