So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
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Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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