Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
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