maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
