Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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