Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize