im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize