2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
