Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
