why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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