sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
