Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
