Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
