At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
