addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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