okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
