Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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