i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Randomize
