You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
