Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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