Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the day after is always just damage control
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
