I must be too annoying 4 u.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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