I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
