i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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