so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You dont lie about slip and slides
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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