He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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