I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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