found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
