After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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