Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
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When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
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I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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