ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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