You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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