I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
