Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well I just put wine in my tea
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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