i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
