mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
