guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
