I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
